Thursday, April 29, 2010

want divorce but cannot leave kids - advice ?


hello all, I am new here. I've visited many times but finally took the plunge to join. Can anyone offer advice on this ?



I am a 38 year old Male married to a 42 year old woman. I have 2 children under the age of 8 who i ADORE.



My marriage has been going downhill for 5 years now. I think i've tried everything (of course I am not perfect but i feel i have tried) and I am no longer a "husband" (i.e. "man") but just a "dad".



I have been together with my wife for 15 years and married 9 but we have just grown apart.



For the last year, she goes to bed at 8pm (same time as kids) and i stay up on my own - very lonely. We moved to Las Vegas 4 years ago and we have no social life outside of work (we both work) and school.



I lost my job and we are going thru bankruptcy.



I miss companionship, laughter and sex. My wife doesn't care about any of this (she has said so). She is only awake for work, 2 hours for homework and dinner and then back to bed.



I want to be happy but cannot bare the thought of not being here for my kids. They are my world.



What can i do ? Live together to see my kids and never have sex/fun/happiness until they leave home ?



i want to be the best dad ever, but i also have the needs of a husband.

Keep reading here

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Friends First = Bad Idea?


I've never been "friends first" with a boy, though the concept is quite fascinating.

Imagine you meet someone that you're not attracted to. Then later, as some times goes by, suddenly, you begin to notice all these fantastic qualities about them that you didn't know existed, and boom! You're in love! Is that a 90s sitcom plot or what?!

I love this idea. Many experts advise that couples should be friends first. Then the relationship is based on personal compatibility, not just sexual chemistry.

New York social psychologist, Dr. Grace Cornish avers that romances that begin as friendships are more likely to succeed:

"As friends first, you like each other first. You develop a respect for each other. You're looking out for each other's best interests. I urge people--marry your best friend."


Keep reading on psychologytoday.com

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

How To Merge Money


Remarriage: Merging Assets...Again: Tips for Entering Into a Financial Merger


By LYNDA MOULTRY


Once you have made the decision to be remarried, there are so many steps in the process. Where will the wedding be? What will you wear? The task list seems endless. Often, the less-fun tasks, such as figuring out your financial game plan, falls toward the end of the list. According to many experts, discussing your financial portfolios should be the first order of business.

Thea Glazer of Glazer Financial Advisors, a San Diego, Calif.,-based financial planning firm, says couples should identify and discuss their money personalities before they begin planning a wedding. Glazer has specialized in financial planning for couples for more than 20 years and has developed a “money personality quiz” on her Web site, which gives couples a comprehensive understanding of each person’s money management style.

Keep reading here

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Before You Have The Divorce Talk...Read This


Five Tips to Help You No Matter What Side of the Conversation You're On


By TRISH ROBB



When you have decided to end your marriage, you must give serious thought to the manner in which you tell your spouse. Presumably you want to find a middle ground between slipping away silently in the dead of night, and booking the Wednesday slot on Maury Povich to make a surprise announcement. This conversation will possibly set the tone for the whole divorce process, so if you can lessen the hurt and anger here, it will help you later.

1. Where and when.
Your spouse should be the first to know you want a divorce. If you have already told friends or relatives, there is always a chance your spouse will hear about your intentions from someone else first, which will only amplify the hurt and resentment. Consider whether he or she would respond better to your announcement in private, at home, or in a public place like a restaurant or park. If your fear a violent reaction, it might be wise not to be alone with your spouse, for example. If your fear he or she will be self-destructive, you may wish to seek the help of a professional for advice ahead of time.

Keep reading on d360.com